Desperate Midwives
by lizfanfiction
Summary: When Cuddy goes in search of House for clinic duty again, he seeks refuge in his long forgotten napping spot... the OBGYN lounge. He's not supposed to be there, though, so it looks like he'll have to stay on the good side of the midwives!
1. Prologue

Author's Note: This fiction is in no way to be taken seriously. It's just another one of my dumb and idiotic fictions that are meant to make people laugh. Got it?

Disclaimer: I do not own the usual House characters, but due to the… special circumstances… of this story, there are many of my original characters. These are typically cameos of my friends/readers and some others as well. And, of course, Nurse Katie is my original character (can't have a fiction without her, can I?).

Cameo Cast: Mira (Doc), Sami, and Andrew

Desperate Midwives – By Liz

**Prologue**

Well, Cuddy was on his ass again about clinic duty, and House was searching for his ideal hiding spot. After searching the whole hospital, House decided to return to one of his favorite, yet older, spots… the OB/GYN lounge. Sure, he wasn't allowed in there, but what did he care, right? At least Cuddy wouldn't look in there! That is, she wouldn't look in there unless she had good reason to. Looks like House would have to stay on the good side of the midwives if he wanted to keep his favorite napping spot (God, those chairs were comfortable). That shouldn't be too hard seeing as half the nurses adored him, and the other half adored the nurses who adored him….


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Gregory House was asleep on his favorite sofa in his favorite lounge once again. The leather chairs practically lulled him to sleep after a nice episode of General Hospital on the OB/GYN lounge's big screen TV. He would have to make a note to get one of those for his own office.

Dr. Scotts walked through the door of the lounge in his usual attire of green scrubs. He found the whole lounge to be empty except for two people: Nurse Katie and Dr. House.

Nurse Katie, with her shimmering blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes, had a reputation nearly as big as House's (at PPTH at least). Nearly all of the male doctors wanted to hop in bed with her (a broom closet would work though), but she only had eyes for one doctor…House. Of course, this brings us to our next point. Nurse Katie wasn't the brightest of nurses, and it still eludes many how she even graduated college. Nonetheless, the point stands that Katie was beautiful and she liked House and only House.

Now, like all the other male doctors in the hospital, Scotts had a crush on Katie. And, like all the doctors, he also knew that she had an obsession with the man currently sleeping on the couch. It wasn't really an obsession that she hid, which was rather scary. But still, Scotts had made it his goal to convince Katie that he was a much better man than House in more ways than one. He walked over to the table where Katie was resting in her light pink scrubs.

Katie was staring off into the distance. It appeared to Scotts that this direction was actually that of the TV, but he noticed it was turned off. Of course, Katie confirmed his suspicions as she spoke up dreamily. "Isn't he adorable?"

Scotts rolled his eyes. "You know he's not supposed to be in here, right?"

Katie didn't respond to the question. "Look at that scruff," she said childishly.

Scotts sighed. He got up from his seat next to Katie and walked over to House. He shook the lazy diagnostician until he woke up.

House moaned and groaned. "What do you want?" He asked sleepily.

Katie nearly gasped. "You woke him up!" she shouted. "How could you?!"

Scotts shook his head in disbelief. What in the world did Katie see in him? "Man, you're not supposed to be in here."

"Go away," House moaned back. "I'm sleeping."

Katie jumped up and pulled Scotts away from the couch. She shushed him. "Can't you see he's sleeping?" she whispered.

Scotts simply let Katie pull him out of the room. There was no doubt in his mind that the young nurse would soon be returning to her post to observe and admire the wonder that was Gregory House.


	3. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Yes. I am indeed mean to my friends when it comes to cameos. Get used to it.

**Chapter 2**

House awoke to a loud thud. He realized the sound was that of wood on wood. Where was it coming from? House opened his eyes to see Dr. Andrews standing over him with a rather angry look on his face. In his hand was House's cane. He had obviously just banged the cane against the table to wake House up.

"What was that for?" groaned House. He put his hand to his head. "I was trying to sleep."

"Out!" shouted Andrews. "Now!"

House mocked the grumpy and old obstetrician by silently repeating the words. Andrews noticed the smug expression on House's face as he sat up, though, and was angered by it.

"Are you mocking me, House?!"

"Are you mocking me, House?!" The mocking continued.

Andrews rolled his eyes. He tossed House's cane at him violently and pointed to the door. "Get out, NOW, House."

As House limped towards the door, Andrews heard him mutter, "Get out, NOW, House."

&&&&&

Right as House opened the door, he bumped into a very pretty nurse that could give Katie a run for her money. The nurse had been carrying a large stack of charts. I say 'had been' because they were now all over the floor thanks to her collision with House. Now, a normal person would do the right thing and help this nurse out. House, however, was not a normal person. He watched as the slimming brunette bent over to pick up her files. My, she had an ass. As she stood up, House admired her cleavage. Since when were scrubs so revealing? Noticing the woman's eyes on him, House quickly diverted his attention to the woman's name tag so he could pretend he hadn't been staring at her breasts just one second ago.

"Sorry to have bumped into you… Samantha," said House.

Samantha gave House a flirtatious smile. "It was no problem at all," she said. "And you can call me Sami."

House's eyebrows rose as he watched the very attractive nurse skim past him and into the OB/GYN lounge. House made a mental note that dealing with Andrews once in a while was definitely worth it. This lounge had everything: a big screen TV, comfortable chairs, and the scenery was unbelievable.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

As soon as House had left the OB/GYN lounge, it wasn't long before Cuddy had caught up with him.

"Where have you been all morning?" she asked.

"The Clinic," retorted House.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "House, you don't even have a case," she said. "Where have you really been?"

House bit his lip in thought as they waited for the elevator doors to open. "I was… consulting… another department."

Cuddy was definitely interested now. House never consulted on cases. "And which department would that be?"

"Obstetrics," said House confidently. After all, he was in their department all morning.

Cuddy was confused now. "Obstetrics needed a consult from _you_?"

House nodded. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

Cuddy gave up the fight, and they both entered the elevator as a nurse was getting out. House hadn't seen her before. "Who was she?"

Cuddy smirked, and the elevator doors closed. "She's the new obstetrics nurse," she said. "She just got her midwife certification. Considering you were in her department all morning, I thought you would have known her by now."

House shrugged. "Didn't see her once," he said. "What's her name?"

"Meggie," said Cuddy just as a small boy darted speedily past the opening elevator doors. "And that would be her nephew, Michael… or Mikey, I think she called him."

"You hired a nurse with a kid?" asked House. "She probably just wanted to take advantage of the free daycare." Although, judging by his running, Mikey didn't spend much time in daycare.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Meggie went through nursing school and got her midwife certification just so she could get free daycare."

"Sounds plausible."

Cuddy ignored House's comment and stormed off towards her office. Before she was too far away from House, though, she called out, "Clinic, NOW!"


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

House was busy swabbing yet another patient to test for STDs when there was a knock on the door of Exam Room 1. House got up to answer the door. Since when did people in this hospital knock? They weren't exactly known for their doctor-patient confidentiality standards. Standing on the other side was Nurse Katie (she was everywhere House was, after all; her actual department position remains unknown to all but Cuddy, who hired her) and another woman. The woman who _wasn't_ grinning foolishly at House had a standard business suit on and her black hair was straight and silky. Her blue eyes glanced at the item in House's hand.

"Can I help you?" asked House. The swab was still in his hand, and it caught the attention of Katie and the other woman (who appeared to be grossed out by it).

Katie had a large grin on her face, as she always did when House was in the vicinity. Of course, this was all the time considering she practically followed him everywhere. So, basically, she was always flashing her pearly whites. "Hello, Dr. House."

House didn't smile, nor did he respond. Was there a point to Katie's visit? Was there ever a point?

Katie continued. "I thought I'd introduce you to Obstetrics' newest secretary, Mira!"

House was confused now. "New secretary?"

Katie nodded excitedly.

"I thought you just got a new midwife."

"Oh, we did," said Katie. Okay, so she _did_ work in Obstetrics. Then why was she always following House into other departments? Oh that's right, the obsession. Moving on.

"You just got a new midwife _and_ a new secretary?" House was confused on several levels. Firstly, why did they get _two_ new employees on the same day? Better yet, why did the former employees leave? Probably most importantly, though, why did he care?

Katie nodded.

"And you're here why?" House was incredulous.

Katie thought for a moment. Honestly, she just wanted to find another reason to talk to House. That wasn't a good answer though. "I just thought you might like to know."

"Right…." House glanced at the two women oddly. Why would Katie think that he cared even the slightest about the workings of other departments? Oh right! That was his napping department!


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

House had made it a point to glance into Cuddy's office every time he left an exam room to get a new file. Much to his surprise, Cuddy wasn't there any more. House quickly limped out of the Clinic, hoping to avoid Cuddy.

Now, of course, Katie was waiting for him right around the corner. "Hi, Dr. House!"

House shushed her quickly and continued limping.

"Where are we going?"

"_We _aren't going anywhere."

Katie was confused. "Then why are we walking?"

House rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you be giving little babies stuffed teddy bears or something?"

Katie thought for a moment. That was her job, wasn't it? "Do you want to come with me?"

House sighed. God, she was like a parasite! Still… Cuddy had no reason to be in Obstetrics, right?

&&&&&

Katie walked around the nursery placing brand new stuffed animals next to each baby.

"Aren't they adorable?" she cooed to no one in general (okay, let's just admit that she was speaking to House).

House, who was brooding in the corner of the nursery, didn't respond. He really didn't want to make his presence known to anyone.

Katie sighed. "I think I'd like to have children some day."

"Good for you," House quipped sarcastically. "Can I go now?"

Katie walked over to House. "Are you tired?"

"What?"

"You can go take a nap in the lounge if you want," said Katie with a smile.

House considered this briefly (very briefly) and quickly got up to leave, but he stopped when he saw Cuddy leaving Dr. Peters' examination room. Why was she in Obstetrics?


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

House slouched down in the corner of the nursery. He poked his eyes out the window, though, so he could watch where Cuddy was going.

Katie giggled at House's odd behavior. "What are you doing, Dr. House?"

House shushed her. "Don't say my name," he said. "Cuddy's probably looking for me!"

Katie understood. She whispered, "Do you want me to distract her for you?"

House suddenly got a brilliant idea. "You work in Obstetrics, right?"

Katie nodded.

"Is that Dr. Peters with Cuddy?" House pointed over to the dark-haired man in a lab coat. He was currently holding a conversation with Cuddy.

"Yes, that's him," said Katie. "He's an OB/GYN, why?"

"I need you to go ask him why Cuddy was in that exam room with him."

Katie snorted. "House, you know I can't do that!" she said. "Cuddy has doctor-patient confidentiality." As soon as she said it, Katie clasped a hand over her mouth.

House grinned. "So Cuddy's a patient, an Obstetrics patient?"

Katie didn't answer, so House took that as a yes.

"Which means she's still trying to get pregnant," said House.

"She probably just came in for her normal check up," said Katie. "Why would you think she's trying to get pregnant?"

House didn't answer. "But you knew she was here as a patient…. That must mean that's it's not an unordinary thing for her to be here."

Katie didn't respond. House smirked.

"Is she pregnant?"

Katie didn't know what to say. The love of her life was depending on her for this information, and she couldn't tell him. What a dilemma! "I'll go talk to Peters for you."

House grinned. "And distract Cuddy while you're at it."


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Katie gleefully pranced out of the nursery towards Drs. Cuddy and Peters. She was so happy to be able to do a favor for the wonderful and absolutely flawless Dr. House.

"Dr. Peters!" said Katie.

Peters looked away from Cuddy. "Um, yes… Nurse Katie?" he said with a glint in his eye. "How can I help you?"

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"I'm a little busy right now," said Peters. "Will you give me five minutes?"

Katie sighed. "Dr. Peters, it's really important."

As much as Peters liked Katie (and that was a lot), he was still getting annoyed with her persistent attitude. She'd been hanging around that House fellow too much. "Katie, I'm talking with Dr. Cuddy right now. I'll speak with you in the OB/GYN lounge in five minutes, okay?"

Katie bit her lip in distress. She thought for a moment. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared above her head (okay, not really; that's just in cartoons). And what a dim light bulb it was. "Dr. Peters, I must insist that we speak this instant," she said. "It's a matter of life and death!"

"Someone is going to die if I don't speak with you within the next five minutes?" Peters joked.

Katie nodded. "You see, there's this patient in the clinic with a tampon stuck up her--."

Peters rolled his eyes. "Katie!"

"She could get Toxic Shock!" shouted Katie loud enough so the whole department could hear. "She needs a doctor, and fast. She said it's been up there for almost two days!"

Peters sighed.

"I'll… talk to you later," said Cuddy as she quickly clicked her stilettos down the hallway.

Peters gave Katie an annoyed look before heading off towards the Clinic.

Then, Katie suddenly realized that she was supposed to figure out why Cuddy had been with Peters in the first place. She ran after Cuddy.

"Dr. Cuddy!" she yelled at the Dean of Medicine. "I need to talk to you!"


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

House watched as Katie chased Cuddy down the hallway. Now that both she and Peters were out of the area, he felt it was safe enough to plan his escape now. Katie would no doubt find him later to inform him on what she'd discovered.

However, as House was planning his Mission Impossible escape, he bumped into Wilson—literally.

"House?"

"Uh… Hey Jimmy, how's it hanging?"

Subconsciously, Wilson glanced downwards before realizing what he had done. He quickly looked back at House. "What were you doing in the nursery?"

"What are _you_ doing in Obstetrics?"

"Clever. Answer all of my questions with questions of your own."

House shrugged.

"Seriously," he said. "Since when do you hang around newborns?"

"Since I discovered they couldn't talk."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Whatever happened to coma guy? He wake up?"

"He's just not as cute as the little ones."

"There's no TV in the nursery."

"I have my portable TV."

"Right…." suspected Wilson. Something was definitely up.

"So that still doesn't explain why you were in Obstetrics."

Wilson blushed. "I was… just looking for Cuddy."

"You knew Cuddy would be up here?"

Wilson avoided all eye contact (and it was obvious). "No… I've just… looked everywhere else."

"So either you have an obsession with our dearest Cuddles," said House smugly, "Or you know something and you aren't telling me."

Wilson didn't reply.

"Come on, Jimmy, spill it."


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

After escaping from Wilson, House limped back to his own office which was shockingly empty. His ducklings must actually be doing their jobs (unlike him). He sat down in his chair and put his feet up. It wasn't as comfortable as the OB/GYN lounge, but that place was surrounded right now. There was no way he was going to get in. Just as House was about to turn his iPod on, Cameron walked into his office.

"Where have you been all morning?" she asked.

"Consulting."

"Consulting who?"

"Obstetrics."

Cameron knew where this was going. "House, I thought they told you not to use their lounge anymore."

"I told you already," he quipped. "It was a consult!"

"I'm sure it was," she sighed. "Well, how did the patient do? I trust you figured out what was wrong." Cameron was playing along.

House shook his head. "Her doctor is hiding something from me."

"Right," snarked Cameron. "Because her 'doctor' would call you for a consult and then hide details from you."

"I knew you'd understand." House smiled at Cameron.

"I take it this wasn't really a patient then?"

House saw Nurse Katie running down the hallway towards his office.

"It looks like the patient spilled her guts," House grinned.

Cameron looked out through the glass doors to see Katie coming their way. "And you used Katie to get the patient to do this?" she asked. "House, that's low."

Katie burst through the doors. "Dr. House!"

"Any news on our patient?" asked House, jokingly referring to Cuddy.

Katie was confused. "What patient?"

Cameron and House stared at each other. What an idiot she was.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Cameron was rather interested in what Katie had to say (well, she was interested in what House had been scheming about all morning; same thing). So, she decided to stay while Katie delivered her news. This was okay with House, of course, because he actually liked having his little work of art around him whenever he got the chance. So, once Katie got the heads up, she told House (and Cameron) everything Cuddy had told her.

"She told me she was in for her checkup."

House rolled his eyes. "She was _not_ in for her checkup!"

"How do you know?" Katie quipped, the best she could.

"You've seen her in there before, haven't you?"

Katie nodded.

"Then it wasn't a checkup."

Cameron thought for a moment. "So, you two saw Cuddy… in Obstetrics… with Dr. Peters, and you want to know why she was there?"

"No, House wants to know why she was there," said Katie. "I don't really care."

Cameron shrugged her eyebrows. "Of course you don't," she sighed. "Well, have either of you tried talking to Peters?"

"He's a little… angry with me at the moment," said Katie.

Cameron was confused, so Katie elaborated.

"I interrupted his conversation with Dr. Cuddy by saying there was a Clinic patient who needed him," she said. "I said the patient had a tampon stuck up her--."

"Alright," said Cameron quickly. "I get the picture."

Katie nodded. "So what do we do?"

Cameron glanced between House and Katie. Maybe now was the time to prove herself to House. "Just leave it to the master." With that, Cameron strutted out of House's office.

"What do you think that means?" asked Katie.

House grinned. "It means she's going to be able to figure out what Cuddy's hiding."

Katie was heart-broken. She wanted to be the one to help House. "What can I do to help?"

"Never fear, Katie," said House. "We've still got good old Jimmy to crack."


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Cameron strutted out of House's office and down the hall towards the elevator. She was currently working up a plan in her mind, and hopefully it would work. If Cuddy had actually just been in Obstetrics for her usual checkup, then what Cameron was about to do would probably be embarrassing, but even Cameron had to admit… There was no way this was just a checkup.

Cameron walked down the halls towards the Clinic, where Cuddy's office was conveniently located. She knocked on the door and waited for Cuddy to invite her in. Once she did, Cameron walked in with a fake (and hopeful) smirk on her face.

"How can I help you?" asked Cuddy.

Cameron rested her hands on her hips expectantly. "Katie told me you were in Obstetrics this morning."

Cuddy seemed uneasy. "Okay…."

Cameron took a leap of faith. "So how long?" It could mean many things, really. All Cameron knew was that Cuddy had been in Obstetrics much too frequently for it to be a checkup. At least this would lead her somewhere.

Cuddy glanced at Cameron's knowing expression. Still, she couldn't help but feel unsure. Did Cameron know her secret or was she trying to figure it out? "What do you mean?"

Cameron was shocked. She'd been sure that would work. She panicked. What could she say that wouldn't make her look like she was trying to discover her secret? "Oh please," she smirked. "Katie said it was just a checkup, but we all know that's a lie." She pretended to know what Cuddy had really been doing in Obstetrics.

"Do we?" played Cuddy.

Cameron nodded. "So how long?"

Cuddy thought for a moment. Perhaps Wilson had told House and House had told Cameron. Or perhaps Wilson had kept his little mouth shut and House was just trying to figure out what Wilson was hiding. Both made sense… But we all know that Wilson can't keep his little mouth shut. "A month."

Cameron did her very best not to grin. However, now she was in a bit of a dilemma. The only reasons Cuddy would be in Obstetrics with Peters would be because she was pregnant or because she was having an affair with Peters. Cameron used her quick wit to come up with something that could come across as a joke or as being serious. Either way, it would work. "Have you… set a date yet?" She bit her lip and hoped it would work.

Cuddy grinned. "Sometime in November."

Cameron smiled in return. She could do the math later. "Congratulations."


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Cameron was eager to share the results of Cuddy's interrogation with House, so she immediately trotted back towards his office. Disappointed to see that he wasn't there, Cameron frowned. She looked around the whole Diagnostics Chamber to find that he was nowhere in sight. Cameron walked back out into the hallway and looked around. Just a little bit down the hall, Nurse Katie was glancing in every direction… right outside Wilson's door. She was either keeping a lookout or she was waiting for House. Or both. Cameron walked over to her.

"Dr. Cameron," said Katie quickly. "Did you learn anything from Cuddy?"

Cameron nodded. "At least I think I did."

"How can you think you learned something?" asked Katie. "I mean, wouldn't you know if you'd grasped some new concept or discovered new information. I suppose if you were unsure if you'd already known the knowledge but somehow forgotten it, then it technically wouldn't be learning, but—."

"Katie!" shouted an irritated Cameron.

Katie stopped her babbling long enough for Cameron to speak.

"Where's House?"

Katie gave a discrete but not so discrete nod towards the door behind her, Wilson's door. "I'm keeping watch," she said.

"You're keeping watch?" asked Cameron. "Who are you watching for?"

"I'm watching for Dr. Wilson," said Katie as if it was really that obvious.

Cameron still seemed clueless. "Can… I please talk to House?"

Katie stepped aside, doing her best impression of either a security guard or a bouncer. Cameron wasn't really sure which. "Hurry up," she whispered. "Wilson will be back any minute."

Confused, Cameron entered Wilson's office to find that Wilson wasn't even in there. House was currently rummaging through… the trash can?

"What in the world are you doing?" asked Cameron.

House shushed her. "I'm looking through Wilson's garbage."

"I'm sure I'll regret this," sighed Cameron. "But why are you looking through Wilson's garbage?"

"He's hiding something."

"What?"

"He knew Cuddy was in Obstetrics," said House. "He didn't want to tell me how or why he knew."

Cameron seemed intrigued by House's deduction skills and began to go through the mail on Wilson's desk.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

House was still rummaging through Wilson's trash can when Cameron found a clue.

"Look!" she whispered. She pulled a sticky note off of Wilson's computer screen.

"What is it?" asked House.

Just then, there was a rapid knocking on the door. It was obviously Katie's warning sign for House and Cameron to get out and fast! Since Cameron didn't know this though, House had to drag her by the hand towards the balcony door.

House and Cameron crossed the balcony and made their escape into House's office, feeling quite exhilarated mind you.

"That was close," sighed Cameron.

House agreed. "Did you get that note?"

Cameron nodded and handed House the sticky note that she'd stolen from Wilson's office.

House read it out loud, but in a whisper that only Cameron would be able to hear:

_Dr. Wilson—_

_Sorry you couldn't join us today. Cuddy was very excited with the pictures. Hope to see you around._

—_Peters_

House and Cameron contemplated what it might mean.

"Maybe she was posing nude for Peters to take her picture," suggested House. "And maybe she wanted Wilson with her."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "I highly doubt Cuddy would pose nude for Peters or Wilson for that matter."

House seemed depressed. He'd been counting on that idea.

"Maybe," said Cameron finally. "Maybe we should just go ask Peters about the pictures."

"That's your brilliant plan?" asked House incredulously.

Cameron nodded.

"But he'll know we're up to something," whined House.

Cameron smirked. "When has there ever been a day when Gregory House _wasn't_ up to something?"


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Wilson approached his office to find that Nurse Katie was standing right in front of his door. And by the looks of it, she was rather anxious.

"Katie," he greeted her. "Can I help you?"

Katie stared at Wilson and stuttered. She had no clue if House and Cameron were still in his office. "Ummm…" she struggled. "Yeah."

Wilson waited for her to continue, but when she didn't, he thought that she might be dumb enough to expect a response from him. "Okay… why don't we go in my office and you can tell me?"

"No!" Katie nearly shouted it.

Now Wilson was getting suspicious. "Katie, what is it that you wanted?"

Katie used her quick, but horrible, wit to come up with a lie. "There's a clinic patient with cancer!"

"And… you know this how?" Wilson couldn't believe how ridiculous her lie sounded. If there was one thing he'd learned from being friends with House, it was how to tell the truth from a lie.

Uh oh. "They… told me?" she tried it out. "They insisted to see you right away."

Wilson rolled his eyes. He was pretty sure there was no clinic patient, but just in case, he told Katie, "Have them come up to my office."

"No!" shouted Katie again. "They could die if you don't see them right away."

"Well if they die that quickly, then there's nothing I can do for them," quipped Wilson.

Katie was defeated. She stepped aside and let Wilson enter his office, hoping for the best. House would surely kill her if Wilson entered while he and Cameron were still searching the office.

Katie glanced into the office when Wilson opened the door. She heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that the office was empty. She began to walk away, but Wilson wouldn't let her just yet.

"Katie!" he shouted from his office.

Katie stopped, but didn't turn around.

"Why is there trash all over my desk?!" shouted Wilson.

Katie began to walk faster and faster down the hallway towards House's office. "Goodnight to you, too, Dr. Wilson!" she shouted.


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Katie quickly caught up with House and Cameron in House's office.

"We'd better get out of here," she said quickly.

House and Cameron looked at her skeptically.

Katie took a much needed breath before explaining. "Dr. Wilson just found that mess you made on his desk when you were… searching his trash can, I assume."

"Time to go," said House quickly. He grabbed his cane and started limping towards the door. Katie and Cameron followed him out of the office and down the hall.

When the three of them reached the elevators, Katie had to ask. "Where are we going anyways?"

Cameron looked at House for the answer. She had an idea, but she wasn't sure.

"Dr. Peters' office," confirmed House.

Katie nodded in understanding, but a confused look came about her face suddenly. "Wait, why are we going to his office?"

House rolled his eyes. He motioned for Cameron to show Katie the note that she'd found.

"I still don't get it," said Katie after reading the note. "How do you think he's going to help us?"

Cameron sighed. "We can ask him what he means by pictures."

"Or better yet," added House. "Why don't we just ask him why Cuddy was there in the first place?"

Cameron shrugged. That could work too.

The elevator doors opened, and just in time too. Right as House and his posse entered, they could see Wilson storming down the hall after them.

"HOUSE!" shouted Wilson. He obviously had a slight suspicion that his best friend had been searching his trash can. He certainly wouldn't put it past him.

House smirked (while the ladies hid their faces) at Wilson right as the elevator door closed.

"That was a close one," said Katie, relieved.

"You know he's probably going to take the stairs, right?" said Cameron.

"Of course he is," replied House.


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

House and his gals arrived at Dr. Peters' office, but they were disappointed to discover that he wasn't in it. Not to mention Wilson would eventually find out which floor they were on. So, the three made the best call they could make and entered Dr. Peters' office anyways. Surprisingly, inside was the OB/GYN's newest secretary, Mira. House recognized her from when Katie had introduced them earlier in the Clinic, but Cameron didn't seem to know the woman.

"Can I help you?" asked Mira.

Both girls stared up at House. They'd been caught, and he was normally the wittiest under these circumstances.

"We… were just looking for Dr. Peters," said House.

Boy that was witty.

Mira smiled. "He's just left for lunch," she said. "Can I take a message?"

"You sound like an answering machine," observed House. This earned him a smack on the arm from both Katie and Cameron.

Mira just giggled. "I'm afraid most secretaries sound that way, Dr. House."

"Wait," said Cameron quickly. "You're the OB/GYN secretary?"

Mira nodded.

"I could have sworn I saw a different secretary here just last week though." Cameron appeared to be deep in thought. She was probably trying to remember her last visit here, but no one would ever really know.

Mira nodded again. "I'm the _new _secretary."

"You're new?" asked Cameron, confused.

"I think that's what the lady said." House rolled his eyes, but Cameron still seemed to have something on her mind.

"But they just got a new nurse," she said. "I took her out to lunch yesterday."

"You took the new nurse out to lunch?" asked House quickly. "Is there something you aren't telling us, Dr. Cameron?"

Cameron rolled her eyes. "I was just welcoming her to the hospital!"

Mira laughed. "Yes, Dr. Cameron, there's a new nurse as well."

"And you both started on the same day?" asked Cameron. "And two employees left simultaneously?"

Mira giggled. "I heard they were fired actually."

Now House was interested. "Dr. Andrews fired two of his employees at the same time?" There had to be a good story behind that, and he for one was hoping to find out what it was.

Mira shrugged again. "I only know what I'm told," she said nonchalantly. "And I was told they were fired."

Before Mira could ask whether they were really here to see Dr. Peters, the whole gang had left the office.


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

House led his squad down the hall to the OB/GYN lounge.

"Why are we going in here?" asked Cameron.

"I feel like taking a nap," House quipped.

Cameron simply rolled her eyes, but Katie hadn't quite grasped the concept of sarcasm yet. So, she was busy making House's usual chair as comfortable as possible. This nearly made Cameron gag.

House suddenly felt the need to explain why they were actually in there considering Katie hadn't quite understood. "We need to find this new nurse," he said. "She might know more about why the former employees were fired."

Cameron's jaw dropped. "You're going to obsess over that too, now?"

"Oh, like you aren't curious," said House.

Cameron shrugged. She had to admit. She was curious. "Fine, but what's your plan? We just wait here until she comes along?"

House shrugged back. "It's a good hiding spot from Wilson."

Suddenly, Cameron got an idea. "Katie!"

Katie quickly turned around at hearing her name. "Yeah?"

"We need your help," she said with hopeful eyes.

Katie grinned. She loved helping House. "What can I do?"

"We need you to go and find Nurse Meggie while we hide out in here."

Katie nodded and quickly trotted out the door in pursuit of the OB/GYN's newest nurse.

House and Cameron sighed in relief.

"Thank god she's gone," said House.

Cameron nodded in agreement as they both plopped down on the couch and began to watch TV. General Hospital was on, so House insisted on watching it of course. Cameron, on the other hand wasn't so enthralled. Still, she obliged and let House have his way. She always did.

About 5 minutes into the show, Cameron became bored and fell asleep on House's shoulder. He didn't really seem to mind, though. As a matter of fact, he seemed pretty content. He was watching his favorite TV show with the girl of his dreams sleeping on his shoulder while some other girl was out doing his dirty work. And the couch was comfortable, too. That always made a difference.


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Katie burst through the doors of the OB/GYN lounge, dragging Nurse Meggie behind her. When they entered the lounge, though, they found House flipping the channels on the TV while Cameron was sleeping on his shoulder. Katie frowned at the sight, so she woke Cameron up quickly with the loud clapping of her hands.

Cameron shot up at the sound of clapping. "What? What is it?"

House smirked. "I assume that's Nurse Meggie?"

Meggie waved. "Hey!" she said goofily. "I saw you in the elevator with Cudds earlier!"

House and Cameron looked at each other.

"You call her… Cudds?" asked Cameron.

Meggie shrugged. "I like giving people nicknames."

"Right…," said House, eyeing Meggie.

Meggie giggled. "So what did you need?"

Cameron and House shook themselves out of their trance and remembered that they needed to ask Meggie some questions.

"We were just wondering why the nurse before you left," said House.

Katie and Cameron rolled their eyes in unison. "No, YOU were just OBSESSING."

House glared at them, and then looked back at Meggie. "So?"

Meggie shrugged. "I think Andy told me that he had to fire them both."

House and Cameron looked at each other.

"Who exactly is Andy?" asked Cameron.

"Dr. Andrews," answered Katie. She'd already become accustomed to her friend's habits.

"Of course," said House with a roll of the eyes. He stood up to leave.

"Where to next, boss?" asked Katie with a gleam in her eye.

"Shouldn't you be working?" retorted House.

"Shouldn't YOU be working?" responded Katie.

House backed down and let Katie follow him and Cameron down the hall to their next destination.


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

As Cameron probably could have predicted (Katie couldn't because she just wasn't that quick), House led his group to the office of the one and only Dr. Andrews. House knocked on the door.

"Since when do you knock?" asked Cameron smugly.

House played innocent. "Why Dr. Cameron," he said. "It's rude to just barge in on people."

Cameron smirked, but her smile disappeared when Andrews opened the door. The Head of Obstetrics wasn't really one of the friendliest doctors in the hospital. Cameron liked to describe him as a House, except without the brilliant mind and wittiness. Without those qualities, you're just left with rude and uncaring basically. Cameron never really felt comfortable around him, so instead of saying hi or something, she simply gave him a shy wave.

House noticed Cameron's weariness, and nearly laughed. "What up, Andy?"

Dr. Andrews seemed confused. "What did you just call me?" he asked.

House shrugged. "Nurse Meggie said it would be cool to call you Andy," he said. "I hope that's okay." House loved pushing Andrews' buttons.

"No," said Andrews bluntly. "It's not okay."

House, Cameron, and Katie seemed taken aback.

"What are you doing here anyways?" asked Andrews. "Please tell me you weren't napping in MY lounge again."

Cameron took this time to itch the back of her neck nervously while avoiding the eye contact of everyone in the vicinity. House, on the other hand smirked.

"Actually," he said. "We just wanted to ask you something."

Andrews looked at the guilty expression on Cameron's face, the excited expression on Katie's face, and then there was the sly one on House's. "What do you want to know?"

"Well," said House. "We were just curious—."

Cameron and Katie glared at him.

"Alright, sorry," he said. "I was just curious why you fired your last two employees."

This seemed to hit Andrews the wrong way. The only thing he said before slamming the door in their faces was, "They keyed my Mercedes!"

House and the girls stared at each other in shock. That was certainly unexpected.


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

The whole team looked at each other. Of course, Curious Katie was the first to speak.

"What was that all about?" she thought aloud.

House and Cameron shrugged.

"Well what do we do now?" she asked.

House and Cameron appeared to be deep in thought, but their thoughts were interrupted when Dr. Scotts and Sami, the nurse House had bumped into earlier, walked up to them.

"What are you guys doing up here?" asked Scotts. "Don't you have work or something?"

House and Cameron didn't respond, so Sami added onto Scotts' observation.

"Don't you have work to be doing, Katie?"

Katie blushed. "We were just talking to Dr. Andrews."

"Why?" asked Scotts.

It was Cameron's turn to speak. "He said that he fired his last two employees because they keyed his car," she said. "Do you really think that's true?"

Scotts and Sami laughed.

"I wouldn't be surprised," said Sami. "He was always leaving the hospital with one or the other… if you know what I mean."

Cameron's eyes widened, and House seemed amused.

"He would not!" said Katie. For once, she did know what they were talking about.

Scotts and Sami continued to laugh.

"Trust me, Katie," said Scotts. "He would."

With that, Scotts and Sami waved goodbye to House, Cameron, and Katie.

"Well I guess we solved that mystery," said Cameron still in shock. "Now can we get back to work?"

"No," said House staring off into the distance.

Cameron rolled her eyes. "Why not? This is ridiculous, House!"

"We still haven't figured out why Cuddy was in the OB/GYN," said House.

Cameron sighed. "Can't we just let it go?"

House couldn't let anything go, of course. Needless to say, when Dr. Peters passed by them, House took the opportunity to grill him.


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Reluctantly, Cameron and Katie followed House as he limped after Peters.

Peters finally noticed that he was being followed by PPTH's most obsessive doctor and his two little sidekicks, so he stopped abruptly.

Peters sighed. "What do you want, House?"

House smirked. "Oh you know my so well."

Peters rolled his eyes.

House shrugged and did his best to act nonchalant. "My associates and I—."

More glares from Katie and Cameron.

House rolled his eyes. "I was curious as to why that new secretary—."

"Mira," interrupted Cameron. She hated when House didn't refer to people by their names.

House shook his head. "Fine, I was wondering why MIRA was in your office earlier," he said.

"We were having lunch," said Peters. "I stepped out for a coffee. Is that alright with you?" Peters started to turn and walk away, but House stopped him.

"Why were you having lunch with her?"

God, he was persistent. Peters knew he wasn't going to be able to get back to work until he told House the whole story. "I'm seeing her, alright?" he said. "Can I get back to work now, please?"

House bit his lip and nodded. That was pretty useless.

Cameron stared at House in surprise while Katie watched Peters walk down the hallway.

"You idiot!" shouted Cameron. She slapped House on the arm.

"Ow!" House rubbed the area on his arm where Cameron had slapped him. "What was that for?"

"Does it hurt?!" Katie was alarmed. "Do you want me to kiss it better?!"

House and Cameron ignored Katie.

"Why didn't you ask him about the pictures?!" asked Cameron.

"Oops," said House. He'd gotten so caught up in butting into Peters' business that he'd forgotten to butt into Cuddy's business.


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Well, House had made a stupid mistake in letting Peters just go like that, but thankfully Mira was working on paperwork at the Nurse's Station at the moment. Hopefully he could redeem himself.

A frustrated Cameron and Katie followed House to the Nurse's Station. Hopefully he had a brilliant plan in mind.

Once House and his mob had reached the Nurse's Station, House began his interrogation on Mira.

"So is it true you're dating Dr. Peters?" he asked.

Cameron and Katie smacked him. God, House had obviously been spending too much time around Wilson lately.

Mira looked at them. "Yeah, I'm dating him," she said.

House was about to question her further about this, but he was slapped by Katie and Cameron once again.

"Would you stop that?!" he said in his best annoyed tone.

Cameron pointed towards Mira. "The pictures!" she said.

House rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't happen to know about any pictures that Peters may be in the possession of, would you?"

Cameron elaborated. "They were pictures for Cuddy," she said. "And they may have something to do with Dr. Wilson as well."

Mira shrugged. "Sorry," she said. "I haven't heard anything about any pictures."

Cameron and Katie sighed. That plan was a bust.

"Oh, by the way," said Mira. "Katie, Peters said he wanted you to deliver these to Dr. Cuddy if you had the time." Mira looked at the House, Cameron, and Katie with a knowing eye. "Somehow I get the feeling you have the time."

Katie rolled her eyes and took the large envelope from Mira and started to walk off and down the hall.

House and Cameron looked at each other. Frankly, Cameron was relieved.

"Can we please get back to work now?" she begged.

House rolled his eyes and started back in the direction of his own office.

Satisfied, Cameron made her way towards the Clinic. She couldn't get enough of those runny noses!


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Katie was slowly walking in the direction of Cuddy's office (she always walked slowly because she enjoyed wasting time). Suddenly, a brilliant thought hit her (and that was a rare occasion, so she was pretty pleased). The thought wasn't the only thing that hit her though. Katie stopped in the middle of the hallway, and a crash team wheeling a gurney nearly crashed into her.

"Watch it!" said a member from the crash team. He wheeled the gurney around Katie and continued his way down the hall.

Surprised and embarrassed, Katie trotted down the hall into the nearest locker room to investigate her marvelous idea.

Katie sat down on the bench and opened up the envelope that she was supposed to be delivering to Dr. Cuddy. Inside it were… photographs. The whole envelope was filled with tons and tons of photographs.

Each photograph was focused on the same person: Dr. Andrews. Some of the photos had the OB/GYN's past secretary in them, as well, and some had photos of the past nurse. There were even a few photos of the nurse and secretary keying Dr. Andrews' car.

Katie was in shock. Was somebody having Andrews followed or something? Whoever had taken these photographs sure as heck did a thorough job. They seemed almost professional. But who would want to do such a thing as have Dr. Andrews followed? The past secretary? The old nurse? It was possible, but Katie knew she wasn't the best person to solve a mystery.

No, when it came to mysteries, there was only one person in Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital who was both interested and cunning enough to solve such things.

Katie placed all of the photographs carefully back into the envelope and headed out of the locker room, nearly crashing into another nurse on her way out. She had to see House, and she had to hurry. She didn't want Peters, Mira, or Cuddy wondering what had happened to the photos.

Katie dashed through the hospital corridors and up the stairs until she finally reached the correct floor. She darted down the hallway towards the Diagnostics Department.

When Katie finally got to the Diagnostics Department, she found that it was empty except for one man…House. House was currently napping in his chair (the OB/GYN had been keeping a close watch on him lately).

Katie burst through the door without as much as a knock (she'd learned that from House).

House jumped up quickly as he heard the door open. It was that damn nurse again. What did she want now? He yawned. "What do you want now?"

Katie showed House the envelope. "I think I found something!"


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

House looked at the envelope in Katie's hand. Of course, he was always curious about the contents of envelopes, except his own. That's why Cameron handled his mail.

"What is it?" he asked, still half asleep.

Katie was ecstatic. She took a seat on House's footrest, causing him to bring his legs down and sit upright.

"Look," she said. She opened the envelope up and showed him picture after picture.

Those pictures were certainly the last thing that House expected to see in the possession of Katie. They were interesting, though. She'd done good work.

"Where did you get those?" he asked.

Katie put the photos back into the envelope. "I'm supposed to be delivering them to Dr. Cuddy right now."

"Dr. Cuddy wants those?"

Katie nodded. "They're from Dr. Peters."

House thought for a moment. "Well that explains the note," he said. "Maybe someone was having Andrews followed to prove he was cheating…But why would that person be Peters, or even Cuddy for that matter?"

That was Katie's question as well. She was hoping House could answer it.

Then suddenly it hit House. Who was the only person who knew about Cuddy being in Obstetrics? Wilson!

House stood up from his chair and began to limp towards his door.

"Where are we going?" asked Katie as she jumped up childishly from the footrest.

House sighed reluctantly. He really did hate having Katie tag along everywhere, but she had certainly proved herself useful today. He owed it to her to at least let her come with him.

"Wilson's office."

It would be an understatement to say that Katie was confused now. Why were they going to Dr. Wilson's office?

"Why are we going to Dr. Wilson's office?" she asked.

House shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."

TBC: The final chapter!


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Katie followed as House limped towards Wilson's office. Gee, House sure as heck moved fast for a cripple.

When they got to Wilson's office, House barged in without knocking of course. He never knocked, especially when it came to Wilson.

Wilson jumped when House and Katie strolled in. Seeing who it was, he rolled his eyes.

"Why was there trash all over my desk earlier?!" asked Wilson in a fume. "Were you searching my trash, House?!"

House feigned innocence. "I would never do that."

Wilson rolled his eyes again. "Who else in this hospital would?"

House ignored his question, and instead he dropped the envelope on Wilson's desk.

"What's this?" asked Wilson. He picked up the envelope and opened it.

"You tell us," said House.

Wilson began to blush slightly as he looked at the photographs. "Look," he said. "I'm not the one who asked to have him followed, okay? It was Cuddy's idea."

House rolled his eyes. "Why would it be Cuddy's idea?"

"She kept telling me that my girlfriend was cheating on me."

"What girlfriend?" House and Katie asked simultaneously.

"I told you about a month ago I was seeing that nurse from the OB/GYN," said Wilson, shocked that House hadn't remembered. He wasn't really sure why he was shocked though. House never remembered anything personal.

"Oh right," said House, pretending to know what Wilson was talking about. Then it hit him. "Wait, so you were seeing the same nurse as Andrews?"

Wilson looked at the photos. "I guess so."

House reached into his pocket and pulled out the note that Cameron had stolen from Wilson's office earlier and reread it. Wilson peeked at the note.

"You were in my office!" he exclaimed. "I knew it!"

"Of course I was in your office, who else would have the nerve to search your trash?" House rolled his eyes and reread the note. "Well, the photos explain why you might be happy, but not why Cuddy would be happy."

Then it was Katie's turn to giggle. "Oh please," she said. "Everyone knows Cuddy has an insane crush on you, Dr. Wilson."

House and Wilson stared at Katie with their jaws wide open.

**FIN!**


End file.
